COPING WITH YOUR EMOTIONS

Being diagnosed with a brain tumour can be a very traumatic experience for both patients and their families. For other people it is a relief to find a cause for symptoms that have been troubling them. Different people have different reactions to their illness, which can include shock, denial, anger, fear and uncertainty. Most people react with shock and disbelief when first they are given their diagnosis.

‘THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING TO ME’

You may only take in certain words and the news seems unreal. For this reason you may require repeated information. Some patients feel they need time on their own to let the news sink in. Others feel the urge to talk to everyone on the ward. These are two common reactions to shock.

‘WHY HAS THIS TO HAPPEN, TO ME, WHY NOW?’

For many people the truth of having a brain tumour can be too painful to acknowledge. This can be called denial and within reason it is seen as a normal coping mechanism in both patients and their families following a diagnosis. Many people can feel very angry that this has happened to them. This anger can be directed at family members, work colleagues, God, the ward staff. It is best to realise this as a stage that you are going through and seek counselling to manage the anger.

‘WHAT IS HAPPENING ME NOW? I’M NOT IN CONTROL ANYMORE’

Many people talk about how sad and worried they were at various stages of hospitalisation. You may experience some of these worries like: What effect will the treatment have on me?, How ill am I?, What about my children?, Who is going to provide for the family if I’m out of work for a long time?, Are they telling me everything?

It is normal to be sad and have these worries. You may find that you are reacting in ways that you are not used to like crying, shaking, being preoccupied. Other people cope by not talking to anyone. This can be quite distressing for families who may feel helpless. Sometimes fear can effect us in this way. We can withdraw from reality because it feels safer to do that. In counselling sessions we try to make it safe for people to explore some of their fears.

‘I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS WHO CAN I ASK?

You may have a lot of questions that you want to ask and feel unsure about. You may have read something on the Internet or been given lots of varying advice from concerned friends or relations. It is important that you ask your doctor or nurse any question that you feel is important.

By the time that you have received your diagnosis you will already have been through a difficult time. You’ll have experienced symptoms that have troubled you enough to seek advice from your GP. Your GP will have felt it necessary to refer you for tests or to the consultant here in Beaumont. You have travelled an emotional rollercoaster. However these symptoms are part of the natural process that people go through in learning to cope with their illness, both patients and those close to them.

The medical social worker working with your consultant is available to discuss these emotions with you and offer on-going support and counselling throughout your stay in hospital. Hospitalisation can often cause financial difficulties for patients and their families. We have produced a leaflet, which is on the ward called” Entitlements for patients and their families”. It outlines how you qualify for Disability benefit, Disability allowance, Supplementary Welfare Allowance and the Medical card. There is a Social Welfare Officer available on the ground floor in Beaumont Hospital, should you wish to make inquiries yourself. Alternatively you may wish to discuss your particular case with your social worker.

In addition you may wish to discuss other anxieties which you may feel are important which have not been addressed here.

‘WHAT CAN I DO?’

• Ask your doctor and nurse questions-write them down to remember.
• Talk to family and friends about how you feel.
• Avail of counselling in hospital or outside of hospital.
• Attend the Brain Tumour Support Group.

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